


Makara Reign: Beforus Edition!

by TheMissluluB



Series: Log Of Pesterlogs [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: And I'm Bad At Titles, And everyone knows about it except Mituna, Crack pot central, Damara is laughing way too hard at Rufioh's Suffering, Gen, Gratuitous Use of The Pit™, Kankri apparently is a angry-fryer, Kurloz is Lazy As Fuck, Kurloz's pale crush on Mituna is as subtle as a brick to the face, Meulin does the Cat Thing that Cats do, Pesterlog, Relationships are irrelevant, Sea Dweller Germs™ are a thing, Tagged Chararacters in order of Appearance, They are like Cooties, This Is STUPID, Where Fiduspawn and Pokemon are The Same Thing, Where they look at you after you told them no and do it anyway, Yeah that thing, gifs, you know the thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 19:35:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7696696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMissluluB/pseuds/TheMissluluB
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a story told entirely in their chat's group memo during their session, in a doomed Beforus timeline, Kurloz decides to research slightly more into his aspect. Soon afterwards, he decides, "fuck it, I'm the leader now".</p><p>All shit hits the fan after that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Makara Reign: Beforus Edition!

**Author's Note:**

> I'm posting this crack in honour of [ my last fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7592602) getting such nice reviews. I mean, it's over 13,000 words long and completely full of crack. I'm so happy people like it, I mean I only posted it because of it's word count. 
> 
> To be honest, the only sad part about this fic is that the timeline is doomed. 
> 
> Like in the last memo fic, the square brackets in the memo are for reader ease and also, in some cases, exposition (i.e. the other end of a phone call, for example). They're not actually in the memo. 
> 
> The Line Breaks are there because this is told over about 3 months and other shit was also happening in the memo. Mainly memes, plans, party plans, more memes, and one instance of Kurloz decreeing everyone to "go a week without brushing their hair so theyll look more wild and free like [him]". Everyone said no. "Try iiit!!" he said. "No," everyone said, quieter that time. And so the decree was put into place.

TC: so wait im up and a prince of my aspect right  
TC: :o?   
CC: uh yeah   
AG: That is what your class is.   
TC: THAT MEANS IM MOTHER FUCKING HIGHER THAN YOUR SORRY FISHY ASS  
TC: i think  
TC: YO SPIDERBITCH IS A PRINCE HIGHER THAN A MOTHER FUCKING HEIRESS  
AG: Well, if we’re taking classpects into account, a Prince is an extremely active class that destroys their respective aspect, or destroys using it. On the other frond, an Heir is one who passively controls and manipul8s their aspect. If we are talking a8out class of royalty, however, I 8elieve an heir and a prince are 8asically the same fin.   
CC: 38D  
CC: YOU SAID FIN!   
TC: [:o(](http://data.whicdn.com/images/160760791/large.gif)  
TC: you said fin  
AG: An heir is someone who is in line to the throne, a royal. A prince is also a royal, however, they may or may not 8e an heir. In fact, one could 8e the next in line for the throne, and yet still 8e classified as a prince. At the same time, one may 8e a prince without even 8eing in line for the throne.   
TC: SO I CANT JUST SAY FUCK IT AND TAKE MEENAHS JOB  
CC: wut  
AG: Meenah ran away from the throne, therefore a8andoning her duties to 8ecome the new ruler... and you are a prince...   
CC: no. you cant jus fuckin take my job  
CC: im skrill the heiress round ere  
TC: [:oD](http://vomzi.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/cool-gif-dance-party-188.gif)   
terrorCarnival [TC] became an administrator to the memo!   
terrorCarnival [TC] changed the memo title to “I AM YOUR NEW MOTHER FUCKING RULER NOW BITCHES. PRINCE OF RAGE IN THE MOTHER FUCKING HIVE!!!”   
TC: [:o)](https://media.giphy.com/media/Zo9ACzmJgoqRy/giphy.gif)  
CC: serks why  
AG: I didn’t expect this to happen! 

* * *

terrorCarnival [TC] changed the memo title to “PRINCE OF RAGE KURLOZ MAKARA HAS DECREED: A BAN ON SEA DWELLERS ON HIS PLANET”   
CG: N9w, I’m n9t 9ne t9 6e speaking 9n 6ehalf 9f the sea dwellers themselves, 6ut y9u cann9t just 6an them! That is incredibly speciest and can in fact 6e triggering t9 the sea dwelling mem6ers 9f 9ur team. As ann9ying as they are, this is incredi6ly racist 9f y9u t9 d9. N9t 9nly that, y9u have failed t9 tag it as well!   
TC: [:o( ](http://img.pandawhale.com/52297-NOPE-button-gif-space-zap-Imgu-fTPe.gif)   
CG: This is –   
terrorCarnival [TC] changed the memo title to “PRINCE OF RAGE KURLOZ MAKARA HAS DECREED: A BAN ON KANKRI SPEAKING”   
CG: H9w rude!   
CG: Why I –  
terrorCarnival [TC] banned carcinoGarrulity [CG] from responding to the memo!   
TC: [>:o(](https://media.giphy.com/media/o8KQzpp7TP8li/giphy.gif)  
TC: MOTHER FUCKING NOOK FONDLER  
TA: H4  
TA: FUCK1NG 0WN3D  
CT: B=> < Wait, when did you become the leader? What is going on?   
TC: aren’t you supposed to be mother fucking getting your work on some new comm devices for us all?   
TC: :o?   
CT: B=> < Oh, yes, I’ll gallop on that right away, pardon the wait.   
CC: i take back water i sed beshore this is hilarious  
CC: i cant bubbleive you banned him from glubbing  
TC: i did what no one else could:   
TC: I STOPPED KANKRI SPEAKING :o)   
CC: truly an unsung hero  
GA: I swear Kurlo+z this ban is pro+bably the wo+rst 0+ne. If 0+nly because he’s currently at my hive ranting up a sto+rm and he wo+n’t let me sho+o+sh him.   
TC: that bad huh  
GA: Yes, “that bad”.   
GA: He’s currently taken 0+ver my fo+o+d preperatio+n blo+ck.   
TC: :o?   
TC: whats he doin in there  
GA: I  
GA: I haven’t the slightest. I’ll go+ and ask.   
GA: I have returned.   
TC: AND  
GA: He is frying 0+ink-beast strips.   
TC: :o?   
TC: :oV  
TC: why  
GA: I asked, and he says, and I quo+te:   
GA: “6ECAUSE I’M ANGRY.”   
TC: :oU  
TC: thats fair 

* * *

terrorCarnival [TC] changed the memo title to “CAN SOMEONE GET ME SOME FOOD A MOTHER FUCKER IS GETTING HUNGRY HERE – SIGNED YOUR RULER PRINCE KURLOZ MAKARA”   
TC: yo charizard make me food  
AT: 1... 1 dont th1nk thats the best 1dea doll...   
AA: PFFFFFFTTT  
AA: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
AA: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA  
AA: AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
TC: YOU CANT COOK CAN YA  
AT: 1 burnt a bo1led cluckbeast egg once and set f1re to my cereal bowl another t1me...   
TC: i  
TC:   
TC: [:oU](http://media.tumblr.com/3525156aeb6cdf670dded941045cb782/tumblr_inline_ml26qcn5ku1qz4rgp.gif)  
TC: HOW THE FUCKING MOTHER OF FUCKS DID YOU BURN A BOILED CLUCKBEAST EGG  
TC: that is the simplest thing to make  
TC: HOW  
AT: come on, everyone has burnt the1r food wh1le mak1ng 1t at some po1nt... r1ght?   
AT: please tell me 1ts not just me  
TC: how did you set your cereal on fire  
AT: look, 1 put cereal 1n. 1 put m1lk 1n. 1t set al1ght.   
TC: [:o|](http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/homer_cereal_fail.gif)  
AT: 1 dont know either...   
TC: someone other than salamence  
TC: MAKE ME SOME GOD DAMN FOOD  
GA: Make yo+urself food, have yo+u tried that?   
TC: >:oP  
TC: IM NOT TALKING TO YOU PORNRIM  
GA:   
TA: H3Y 8R0  
TA: Y0U N33D1N H3LP?   
TC: mitubrosef i am dying  
TA: 0H G0D WH47 H4PP3N3D  
TC: IM STARVING BRO :o(  
TA: 3H3H3H3 Y0UR3 50 0V3RDR4M471C  
TA: JU57 G0 2 Y4 H1V3 0R 50M37H1NG?   
TC: too far awaaaaaaaaaay  
TA: WH3R3 4R3 Y0U RN  
TA: 1 C0ULD FLY 0VER 70 Y0U N L1K3 FLY Y0U 70 Y0UR H1V3 0R S0M37H1NG  
TC: :o|   
TC: dont hassle your fine self  
TC: IT AINT THAT FAR  
TA: WH3R3?   
TC: :o|  
TC: YOU KNOW WHERE THAT HOLY ASS FUCKING WEIRD STREAM IS NEAR MY HIVE?   
TC: the one with the funky patterns all over the shop  
TA: ...   
TA: 0H MY FUCKKK1NG G0D  
TA: DUD3 7H47 15 L173R4LLY 2 M1NU735 4W4Y FR0M Y0UR H1V3  
TA: G37 7H3 FUCCKK2 UP 4ND 347 50M37H1NG  
TC: BUT THAT REQUIRES MOTHER FUCKING EFFORT BRO  
TC: effort  
TC: EEEEEEEEFFFFOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTT  
TC: bluuuuuuuuuuuuh  
AC: (^._.^) < PURRLOZ. GET THE FUCK UP AND EAT.   
AC: (^-人-^) < MEW’LL JUST GET DIZZY AGAIN AND BE ALL ANNOYING. NO ONE WANTS THAT.   
TC: UGH FINE  
TC: >:o(  
TC: BUT AS YOUR REGAL MOTHER FUCKING RULER OF THE REALMS I DEMAND BACK RUBS  
AC: (=^•^=) < H33H33!   
AC: (=^•^=) < <3  
TC: <3

* * *

terrorCarnival [TC] changed the memo title to “SOMEONE GET THIS HONK ASS MOTHER FUCKER AWAY FROM MY FINE SELF – SIGNED YOUR RULER PRINCE KURLOZ MAKARA”   
CA: I DIDNT EVWEN DO ANYTHING?!   
TC: i banned sea dwellers from my planet  
TC: DO YOU NOT REMEMBER THAT ROYAL DECREE  
CA: YOURE NOT EVWEN PROPER ROYALTY   
CA: YOU AINT EVWEN GOD TIERED YET YOU FUCKIN ASSHOLE!   
TC: get  
TC: THE FUCK  
TC: off  
TC: MY MOTHER   
TC: fucking  
TC: PLANET  
CA: howv do you knowv im on it anywvay?   
CA: im nowvhere near you.   
TC: >:o(  
TC: GIT  
CA: GOING.   
TC: asshole you dropped a thing  
CA: wvhat?   
TC: I DONT FUCKING GOT MY KNOWING ON OF IT I AINT GONNA BE PUTTING MY FRONDS ON THE THING ITS GOT SEA DWELLER GERMS  
CA: oh yeah thats the reason I came ovwer in the first place.   
CA: its not mine.   
TC: [>:oV ](http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2014/09/Funny-Hmm-O-rly-oh-really-Orly-Suspicion-Suspicious-Will-Smith-GIF.gif?gs=a)  
TC: :o!   
TC: :o?   


DAYS IN THE FUTURE, BUT NOT MANY ==>  


TC: so are we all in a mother fucking agreeance?   
AC: (=^•^=) < YEP  
GC: 4ll cl34r h3r3, yo.   
TA: FUCKK5 Y37H5  
TA: 5TUP1D L17HP7  
AT: yeah, 1 guess...   
AA: はい [yes]   
AG: For once, yes.   
CC: same here serks  
CC: same here  
GA: Do+ what yo+u want.   
CT: B=> < I have nary an idea as to what is going on at this moment.   
TC: YOU DONT NEED TO GET YOUR WORRY ON ABOUT IT  
CT: B=> < Ah.   
CT: B=> < So...   
TC: just say whether or not youre okay with it mother horsefucker central.   
CT: B=> < But I don’t know the terms?   
CT: B=> < You expect me to say yay/neigh to terms I don’t even know?   
TC: YOU HAVENT BEEN KEEPING CHECK OF THE MEMO HAVE YOU  
CT: B=> < Not in the slightest.   
TC: scroll up and read  
TC: THEN SAY IF YA AIGHT WITH IT  
CT: B=> < Ah, I will do so right away.   
CA: im okay but not great wvith it.   
CA: guess itll do.   
TC: thats everyone right  
CT: B=> < I’m perfectly fine with that, I believe it would be e%citing e%perience.   
TC: GREAT  
TC: everyone meet up at lotam pronto  


THIRTY MINUTES LATER ==>  


TC: NOT GREAT NOT GREAT  
TC: abort  
TC: ABORT THE MISSION  
AC: (=ﾟ･ﾟ=) < OH DEAR MOG  
GC: sh1t!!   
AT: th1s was a terr1ble 1dea, whose was 1t anyway?   
TC: let it be known  
TC: THIS WAS NOT MY MOTHER FUCKING IDEA  
TC: this mother fucker  
TC: AINT GONNA BE GOING DOWN SO MOTHER FUCKING EASY  
TC: >:oD  
TC: THIS WILL BE THE FINEST MOMENT OF THE MAKARA REIGN EVEN IF ITS BEING THE LAST ILL BE DOING ALIVE  
TC: what –  
TC: OW MOTHER FUCK  
AA: 私はクソこれが起こることを知っていました [I fucking knew this would happen]   
GA: Hah, yo+u deserved that.   
TC: :o(  
TC: IT WAS NOT MY IDEA  
GA: Yo+u to+uched a ho+t-plate when it was 0+n, I’m pretty sure that was yo+ur idea.   
TC: fuck you  
TC: >:o(  
TA: 4444444HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCKK FU5K FUCKDUU FYCUK FUCK UF 5DKU FUCKL UFJCK   
TC: you okay brotuna  
TA: 7H3YR3 3V3RYWH3R3?!!   
GC: Tun4, 1t’ll b3 cool.   
TA: 7H3Y  
TA: 4R3  
TA: *3V3RYWH3R3*  
TA: 7UL4  
GC: wh4t h4pp3n3d?   
TA: 1 FUCK1GNED DR0PP35 7H3M!!   
TA: DR0PP3D! FUCK1GN L17HP7  
TC: WINGED TROLL OF RA  
AT: thats not even a f1duspawn.   
AT: ... yeah?   
TC: i need ya fine a–  
TC: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU SET THAT ON FIRE  
TC: :o??????   
AT: huh?   
AT: OH GOD HOW CAN FLOUR BE SO FLAMMABLE?!!   
CA: I GOT THIS –  
AT: NO DONT –  
AA: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA  
AA: これがどのように機能するかあなたろくでなしは見当がつかない [YOU ASSHOLES HAVE NO IDEA HOW THIS WORKS]   
CA: OH GOD HOWV CAN WVATER BE SO FLAMMA8LE?!   
TC: CRONUS YOU ARE A MOTHER FUCKING SEA DWELLER HOW THE UP AND MOTHER FUCK OF ALL UNRIGHTEOUS HOLIES HAVE YOU DONE THAT  
CA: OH GOD ITS EVWERYWVHERE!   
TC: oh my mother fucking messiahs up on the highest of mother fucking clouds  
TC: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A SECOND  
TC: my igrubs ringing  
TC: HELLO  
[CG: Y9u d9 realise that this is live streaming 9n the main mem9 as y9u all speak, c9rrect?]   
TC: gobby do you need another hour in the pit  
[CG: I...]   
TC: WAIT WHAT  
[CG: What y9u and the 9thers are saying is 6eing p9sted directly 9n 9ur team’s gr9up mem9.]   
TC: :oI  
TC: OH FUCK ME UP MY MOTHER FUCKING WASTESHOOT  
TC: who designed these things on default speech-to-text?   
CT: B=> < Well, e%cuse _me_ , Princess, but you were the one who was rushing me!   
TC: YOU GET AN HOUR IN THE PIT  
CT:（;≧皿≦）< FOAL PLAY!   
TC: rainbowsis you havent even switched that on wha –  
TC: OW WHAT THE UP AND FUCK  
GA: Serves yo+u right. I kno+w what I’m do+ing. Do+n’t try and bo+ther me.   
TC: you also get an hour in the pit  
GA: With Ho+russ? Right no+w?   
TC: YES BOTH OF YOU GO TO THE MOTHER FUCKING PIT AND STAY THERE FOR AN HOUR  
CT: (；¬д¬) < Stop kicking me, Kurloz, I get it, I'm going!   
TC: and don’t you even be up and starting anything with him because you will end up with a lot more hours down there you got that  
GA: Use baking so+da. Fo+r the Nitram-Ampo+ra fire, I mean.   
TC: THANKS FOR THE TIP  
TC: >:oI  
CC: im fishrally swimrounded by idiots  
CC: idiots who dont minnow the fisht meanin of tha word cookin.   
TC: DO YOU ALSO WANT AN HOUR FISHBITCH  
CC: clownfish im the only one here who can bake and not set the plaice of fire  
CC: do you reely want ta flip me in tha cesspit?   
TC: you make a good fucking point  
TC: >:oI  
AT: look on the br1ghts1de, these are some s1ck flames, am 1 r1ght?   
TC: dragonite you will get thirty minutes in the pit if you say another stupid pun like that again  
AT: only 30?   
TC: :oV  
TC: well  
TC: THEY ARE SOME PRETTY ILL FIRES YA GOT THERE ILL GIVE YA SOME MOTHER FUCKING CREDIT ON THAT SHIT  
TC: but youre gonna be all on and burnin the place down if ya carry on  
TC: SO FLYGON YOURE ON CLEAN UP DUTY FROM NOW ON  
AT: nooo  
AA: あなたの人生を吸います [you suck at life]   
AT: なぜそれがこのようにしなければなりません [why must it be this way]   
TC: gobsalot get the mother of fuck over here and fix this shit i know youre still reading this  
CG:   
CG: DXB  
CC: what the glub is that supposed ta be?   
CG: Th  
CG:   
TC: NO CARRY ON IM CONFUSED TOO  
CG: L99k, the ‘6’s my h9rns 6ut it d9esn’t fit anyway and I’m just n9t happy right n9w I d9n’t really  
TC: you can stop now  
TC: NOW COME THE MOTHER OF THE MESSIAHS OVER HERE AND MOTHER FUCKING GET CHA HELP ON AT ME FUCK DAMN IT  
CG: UGH.   
CG: FINE, Y9U ASS.   
AG: Is Meenah and I the only ones with a functioning work system for this game?   
AG: 8ecause from this it just looks like everyone else is making it up as they go along.   
AG: Has anyone even HEARD of a recipe 8ook?   
AT: aranea, 1 apprec1ate the w1sdom, but 1 cant make anyth1ng w1thout 1t somehow sett1ng on f1re...   
AA: 誰がクソ料理本のことを聞いていません。加えて、あなたも、彼らは日本にある鉱山を読み取ることができません。 [Who hasn’t fucking heard of a cooking book. Besides, you cant even read mine theyre in Eastern.]   
AG: 8y the way, Rufioh, your jacket’s caught on fire.   
AT: what?   
AT: OH F*CK!!!   
AA: STOP DROP ROLL BAKA  
AT: MY HORNS ARE TOO B1G!!!   
CA: MITUNA WVHAT THE FUCK IS WVRONG WVITH YOU?   
TA: Y0U R0883D MY FUCK1NG 5PR1NKL35 Y0U 7W47  
TA: 1 JU57 P1CK3D 7H3M 4LL UP  
CA: OH MY GOD YOU CANT JUST FUCKIN PUT SPRINKLES THAT WVERE ON THE FLOOR ON A CAKE THATS DISGUSTIN YOU UTTER PILLOCK!   
TA: Y0U’R3 4 81TCH  
GC: c4n w3 m4yb3 not s4bot4g3 4nyon3? th4t w4s sort4 th3 rul3s, y34.   
CA: i aint sabotagin nothin i just needed some sprinkles!   
GC: 1sn’t your 4r34 st1ll on f1r3?   
CA: it is?   
AT: OH CR*P OH CR*P OH _CR*P_!!!  
CA: FUCK  
CA: IT IS  
CA: OH GOD  
AT: SOMEONE HELP ME!!!   
CA: IM GOIN TO FIND A FIRE EXTINGUISHER SOMEONE WVATCH MY CAKE  
TA: 0H 1LL W47CH 17 4LR1GH7.   
TA: W47CH 17 –  
GC: w3r3 not go1ng to s4bot4g3 th3m tun4. trust m3 on th1s.   
TA: 4WW  
TA: K4Y.   
CG: H9W 9N 6EF9RUS HAS THIS HAPPENED?!   
CG: 9h, s9rry.   
TC: [:o/](http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/fire_community.gif)   
TC: HELP ME GOBBY MCTALKSALOT  
CG: I  
CG: Fine.   
CG: But I sw  
TC: dont say any more  
TC: YOU NEED TO GO ON OVER THERE AND SPIN THAT SHIT  
CG: D9N’T KICK ME!   
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < PURRLOZ, I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING  
TC: little kitty bitch its okay ill  
TC: I  
TC: i cant  
TC: HOW  
AC: (=TωT=) < I COULDN’T HELP IT  
AC: (=TωT=) < IT WAS RIGHT THERE  
AC: (=^. .^=) < ON THE EDGE OF THE DESK  
AC: (=；ェ；=) < I DIDN’T THINK ITLL FURLL OFF!!!!!!!!!   
TC: dont get cha worry on i can fix thi–   
TC: MEULIN NO  
TC: dont even think about knocking that ov–  
AC: (^•x•^) < OOPS  
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < PURRLOZ? MEW OKAY?   
AC: (^._.^) < MEW'VE GONE ALL QUIET  
AC: (^._.^) < HELLO????????? ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ  
AC: (^•x•^) < SORRY I DROPPED OUR CAKE MI–  
TC: HOOOOOOOOOOOONK  
TC: thats it  
TC: YOU GET AN HOUR IN THE PIT  
AC: (=`ω´=) < MEW’LL NEFUR TAKE MEW ALIVE!!!!!!!!!   
AC: ~(=^‥^)ノ < WOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOPWOOP   
TC: messiahs above leijon  
TC: GET BACK HERE  
AC: (=`ω´=) < NEFUR  
TC: grr  
TC: FUCK SHES TOO FAR AWAY TO HEAR ME  
TC: this is all on your mother fucking faults insufferable  
CG: What, y9ur –   
TC: SHH  
CA: FIRE IN THE HOLE!   
CA: heh, hole.   
TA: grr  
TC: GTFO CRO–AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
CG: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AT: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
GC: s33? no s4bot4g1ng n33d3d.   
TA: H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4  
AA: AAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

* * *

cutthroatConqueror [CC] changed the memo title to “team fishrally the best cakes in the forking bassness”   
CC: alrite bassholes, guess its ofishal  
CC: im the leader of this ship fuck of a team again  
CC: how dya like them apples  
TC: you got ya mother fucking theifing on at my stuff  
TC: YOU SABOTAGED ME  
CC: ya win sum ya lose sum  
CC: deal wiv it, buoy  
CG: I’m still the leader, actually, and I’d appreciate it if y9u tw9 didn’t undermine my presence.   
CC: 3>8/  
TC: >:o/  
CC: clownfish  
TC: YOURE STILL BANNED FROM SPEAKING YO  
CG: What, I th9ught that was just a ‘Makara Reign’ thing.   
CG: Y9u can’t tell me what t9 d9.   
CG: |:B  
TC: that looks stupid and you should feel stupid  


WEEKS IN THE FUTURE, BUT NOT MANY ==>  


AG: Meenah, don’t do it, do you really want to start the whole fiasco of last month all over again?   
CC: serks, im surf board  
CC: im surf fuckin board  
CC: that ship was swim a the best fin ive had for SW---E---EPS  
AG: Well........   
AG: I guess it was quite the spectacle. It would be fin to do again.   
AG: Err, fun, I mean.   
CC: 38D   
CC: yo clownfish  
TC: :o?   
CC: ya wanna be the leader again for a bit?   
TC: [:oO](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbwjmmAGhg1ql0bnm.gif)  
terrorCarnival [TC] changed the memo title to “GUESS WHOS BACK MOTHER FUCKERS!!!”   
CT: (；¬＿¬) < Oh, this is going to be just dandy.   
TC: do you want another hour in the pit

End

**Author's Note:**

> About three weeks after they all died while having a Fancy Dress Party at LOBAF.  
> Worst. Party. Ever. Of All Time. 
> 
> Kurloz's Last words were:  
> KURLOZ: seriously the one time i be leader is the one where everyone is doomed thats just mother fucking typical :o( 
> 
> Also, gotta thank @cerealmonster15 for the decree mentioned in the top notes. Good thinkin, Cereal. ^u^
> 
> Fun Fact 1: Kurloz's planet is called the Land of Towers and Multicolour in my head. LOBAF is the Land Of Balls And Flames.
> 
> Fun Fact 2: The only people who didn't go in the pit during Kurloz's reign were Meenah, Mituna, Kurloz, and Meulin. Kurloz for the reason he was the one sending everyone to the pit, Mituna didn't go because of Kurloz's "subtle" crush on him, Meulin has been sent, but he's to soft on her to actually _make_ her go down there. Meenah can talk her way out of anything. 
> 
> Fun Fact 3: The reason the time line was doomed was because The Accident™ (involving Kurloz & Meulin) which happened in the 'alpha' timeline didn't happen. But it was still useful for the alpha timeline, which is why it went on for so long. 
> 
> Anywho, Thanks for reading this crack-fic!


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